- I don’t speak French. I don’t speak English. I am from Yorkshire.
- Thunder is the sound of God moving his beer barrels across the floor of the sky.
- Well Captain, I’ve to admire your balls.
- Perhaps later.
CORPORAL PERKINS AND CAPTAIN BLACKADDER
- An Irishman goes into a fish and chip shop, says, “Fish and Chips twice.” The guy says, “I heard you the first time.”
- Police probe Leeds girl’s snatch. Can you help?
- I’m not against naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.